I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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