On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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