I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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