I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Randomize
