Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
