Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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