My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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