Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I would fuck him just for his dog
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