he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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