Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
