margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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