Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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