I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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