Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
foreskin is a definite game changer
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
