i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
