Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
