I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
