Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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