Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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