my vag is so smooth its legendary
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
