Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
