I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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