butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
