my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Randomize
