i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
