dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
