I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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