i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
