I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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