my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
