Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
