no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
it glows. i had to have it.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
