She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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