Well apparently he's into motor boating.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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