i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
