Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
