i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
