Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
