I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
the room spins SO much faster in panama
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
