he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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