Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Randomize
