The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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