And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
