I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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