so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
