How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
