Where are you?
In a non slutty way
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
