dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Randomize
