are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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