Apparently you make a good broom.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
