just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Randomize
